spacecadet:

New York’s hottest holiday club is Blitzen, and right now they’re having their 12 Days of Christmas dance party. It has everything: 12 jacked albinos, 11 Little Richards, 10 piercer babies, 9 Asian Balkis, 8 gay Aladdins, 7 psychos swearing, 6 Puerto Screechers, 5 homeless Elmos. 4 coked up frogs, 3 French hens, Taylor Negron, and a human parking cone…It’s that thing were two jacked midgets paint themselves orange and you have to parallel park between them.

spacecadet:

New York’s hottest club is Slash. This place has everything: glass, steam, bear traps, and just when you think the fun is over, knock knock who’s there? It’s Black George Washington! All that, and a party room filled with human bathmats…It’s that thing like when midgets have dreadlocks and they lay faced down on the floor.